Bush & Company

There's something very wrong with every one (except, perhaps, Buddy Roemer, whose fervent crusade against the Super PACs must make the others, all recipients of the anonymous funding sources, somewhat uneasy).

Mitt's said to have just piles and piles
Of moolah in the Cayman Isles
And baggage carried by the Newt
Keeps adding to his disrepute

And Rick's Far Right relentless stance---
Not much escapes his righteous rants,
While honest Ron has tried to hide
The secret of his darker side;

And then there's Bud, who stands alone---
Those Super PACs he won't condone---
No funds (if offered) will he take,
Although a presidency's at stake,

Which puts him well outside the zone. . .

Ironically, President Obama, because of the critical nature of this election, must accept PAC donations himself, even though he disapproves of them.

On January 15, handsome, smooth, smart, experienced and filthy rich Jon Huntsman was endorsed by Associate Editor Cindi Scoppe of South Carolina's largest newspaper, The State. Hours later, Mr. Huntsman bowed out of his ineffectual race, possibly just a dry run, endorsing "Mittens' Romney, whom he had hours earlier bombarded as an unreliable flipflopper, a job killer and one who enjoys firing people, not someone we would want as president. Endorsement of his former foe stressed that he was the only candidate who could beat Barack Obama.

We may see Mr. Huntsman in the next election cycle, this time conducting a well-prepared, determined campaign.

I'd like an explanation, Jon---
Just what the hell is going on?
The very day Ms. Cindi, who

Gave her endorsement just to you,
You gave a mean slap in the face,
Endorsing Mittens in your place.

The likelihood, in any case,
Is that we'll see you down the road,
This time, in focused campaign mode.

Reactionary Roman Catholic Rick Santorum wears his intolerance like a badge of honor, clinging to unrealistic tenets of his faith which many Catholics have rejected due to the pressures and complexities of modern life.

Young voters in the main don't buy his diatribes against gay marriage, birth control, and isses like "Obamacare"---
realizing the unreliability of church, family, friends and other helpful volunteers saving the day in times of critical need, like the townsfolk of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Likely disdaining entitlements as welfare, he nonetheless saw to it when in the Senate that Medicare benefits were sent to Puerto Rico from United Health Services, his cut amounting to $400,000.

Once bearing the sobriquet "Senator Slash," the former lawmaker, believer in limited government and the radical Ryan plan, who savaged Democratic foes with the best of them, is after all, just one more noncompassionate political hypocrite who may let up on his chief nomination rival, frontrunner Mitt Romney, with an eye to a cabinet appointment by the possible next president of the United States.

Unlike the Rickster's long parade
Of helpers rushing to your aid,
There are things government must do
Even when some others pitch in, too,

As Rick can't but be well aware---
And Puerto Rico will admit---
In profiting more than a bit
From sending them our Medicare.

Another D C hypocrite
May pander to a winning Mitt,
Who might, once his course has been set,
Think Rick's fit for his cabinet.

Buddy Roemer, a former Democratic congressman and Republican Louisiana governor, is running for president, but few people know it. One reason is that he's never been invited to participate in the debates, perhaps because he's such a sensible and honorable man. How he'd show up the other candidates! Funding his campaign solely with individual contributions of $100 maximum, he disdains the anonymous, pernicious Super PACSs.

"The biggest threat to our country is corruption," he told Rachel Maddow on January 6.

"I've got to get on the debates," he said. " I've been shut out of every darn one and I wonder why."

Mr. Roemer is waging war for campaign reform, against money in politics. He's voiced vehement disapproval of President Obama for his vast stash of PAC money, but I would argue that the president has no choice but to follow an established system he's trapped in to win an election that for the salvation of the country he must win.

Mr. Roemer could be a transformative president, but will probably never have the opportunity to prove it.

In the course of these events
Buddy is the only one
In this presidential run
Who makes almost perfect sense

That the people rarely hear.
Cruelly shunned by every peer,
Sadly, Buddy can't compete
On the stage where rivals meet---

There he's never seen or heard
Getting out his sober word.

Two seemingly trustworthy candidates low on the totem pole share this, too, in common: neither will win. So why doesn't Jon Huntsman follow the lead of rival Buddy Roemer (even Ron Paul) and stay honest and on message?

Jon Huntsman, a former ambassador to China, a former Utah governor and a businessman, with diverse experience and expertise, is informed on climate change and evolution and other issues that most of his competitors deny through ignorance or political expediency, yet he's flipflopped at least three times during his campaign, recently on December 6: Scientists "owe us more" on climate change; "There's not enough information to formulate policies." He had even said he'd "absolutely" run on a Michele Bachmann ticket if asked; the history-challenged Bachmann, whom he had roundly criticized; his evasive justification being, "If you love this country, you serve this country."

Jon, you can't win. Why not honor your statement, televised before millions, "I must be true to who I am"?

Others you may castigate
On the presidential slate,
Yet you sometimes take your cues
From their simpleminded views,

Though this contest that you're in
You must know that you can't win,
So those flipflops are in vain
That have sullied your campaign.

Here's a notion for you, Jon---
Be like Bud or even Ron---
Waffling is not their game---
Can't you try to be the same?

Spending only what Bud raises
Also merits boundless praises.
In this interparty war
From you we expected more.

One way that political candidates humanize themselves is to trot out their spouses, especially when in critical straits. This is especially true of former Mormon lay leader Mitt Romney, whose mormonism dictates that he be the chosen member (as opposed to long-time rival, Mormon Jon Huntsman) of the politically ambitious Mormon church to occupy the Oval Office. His so frequently mentioned wooden image requires both the softness and the strong support of a devoted wife.

According to Ann Romney, she told Mitt, despite his firm disinclination, that he must run to save the country.

Newt Gingrich's wife, Callista, said she convinced Newt to press on, regardless of his fall in the polls.

Their purported efforts are perhaps superfluous. Newt's well-known baggage and dwindling funding countered by Mitt's high-powered business successes and the ruthless use of his enormous financial resources would probably suffice to surpass Newt, who stubbornly said of Mitt on January 2, "He won't get rid of me, he'll just slow me down."

Some say that it's a last resort---
The campaign trail is all up hill---
A desperate measure, if you will,
To scan the hearthside for support

And send the little woman out,
An urgent mission this, to tout
Her spouse's worth and to convince:
The lying pol's a real prince.

The unsung jewel of his life---
At times it's good to have a wife!

The newly animated, almost euphoric, Mitt Romney, seems to be brimming over with self-confidence as he attempts a tenuous balance between conservatism and moderation, all the while playing the part of a regular guy, just like you and me.

Meantime, Newt the Nice is abandoning his recent nonnegative policy as others attack him and he fights back; Newt, who never really intended to run for president, but caught the bug; Newt, who jumps from role to specious role as he determines the moment requires; Newt, who between Christmas and New Year's, displayed one truly genuine moment of honest emotion when an interviewer asked about his mother; Newt, who is on his way out.

Mitt, consistent in his barely wavering place in the polls, seems as ever destined for the nomination. We can expect, once achieved, that he will turn his venom on President Obama with relentless, unjustified tongue lashings from his mendacious mouth, the exact opposite of what's actually true.

The Mittster seems to have it made;
It's paying off, this game he's played,
Insisting he's a true job maker
When truth to tell, he's just a taker;

To trash the Newtster---just a blast
About his rival's scurvy past;
To trash Barack he has to lie
And doesn't even have to try.