Bush & Company

Stupid, don't you know it's not

The surge that's working, but a lot

Of bread being spent on tribal chiefs

To pay off their militiamen

So they in turn will turn their back

On all our enemies in Iraq?

If only they'd done that before,

It would have saved some blood and gore,

Anxiety and grief; what's more,

It might have made a shorter war;

Oh, yeah? Those Bushies mean to stay

And stay forever and a day;

They'll find some rationale again

And guess who'll be the ones to pay?

How nicely those rivals contest,

While being put to that QA test;

Each one, Mitt and Mike Huckabee,

Fred Thompson, Rudy and McCain,

Strives mightily to disagree,

Determined to make sure it's plain

He stands out and he tops the rest,

Is unequivocally the best

(And can't desist from taking lots

Of civilized, if venomous, shots ).

Their barbs, though sharp, are all the while,

Accompanied by a gracious smile.

"The surge is working!" cries McCain,

While adding that "mistakes were made";

As do most other GOPs

Who hope to be the nominee,

With tact and ambiguity,

He tries each special group to please.

From being too plain they must refrain---

The cowards clearly are afraid:

So fearful of assigning blame,

They hardly mention Bush's name.

I can't help thinking, what if all

The candidates could be Ron Paul.

Then there's Kucinich and Gravel---

More honest men who, come what may,

Regardless of the consequence,

State bluntly what they have to say;

And while I can't always agree,

I can respect their honesty,

Yet can't do more than wish them well,

Because they have no chance in Hell.

Sad---overall, they make more sense

Than many would-be presidents.

But, it’s not real news, you explain in vain to a dwindling trickle of Republican friends, on a steady IV drip of Hannity, Gibson and Hume—now available without a prescription on Fox News. But these fair and balanced viewers wouldn’t want their news any other way. Would you like a little quid with your pro quo, Mr. Giuliani?

To be sure, the cum laude graduates of the Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch College of Clowns & Buffoons keep the audience entertained as they juggle facts, tweak red noses of half-truths and bitch-slap one another with rubber mallets of propaganda—all while riding unicycles of opinion.

The News Corp. cable network peddling We Distort, You Decide has been earning its exclusive interviews with Junior Bush, Dick Cheney and Condi Rice ever since the right-wing think tanks first found their parrots an echo chamber.

Inside the GOP circus tent fueled by elephant effluvia, Fox & Friends perform their daily high-wire act, as Michelle Malkin text-messages Michael Savage with the news: WMDs have been found in Iraq!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, viewers can feel their breath quicken.

Face it, Malkin, you self-appointed liberal-media-bias-girl: Fox isn’t fooling anyone who doesn’t want to be fooled.